One of these things is not like the other…

Day#4 Media Fast

Honestly, I find myself regularly asking the question why anyone would care about reading my personal three week long media fast journal. It’s a boring life. Nothing around me to fill up every spare minute. It’s a lot of nothing. Quiet. I still haven’t gotten used to it. I also have mindlessly continued to hit the “F” APP. I could get rid of it or “hide” it but I felt it was important to understand my unhealthy habits better. It’s kind of like a diet…if it’s not in front of you, you won’t eat it but as soon as it is, the resistance wasn’t realized and the ability to say no is even harder.

One thing I’m extremely thankful for are my real estate clients. They know I have tested positive for Covid and want me to rest and take care. They recognize going to see a home can wait a week or so. I think it also might have to do with the fact that they don’t want to be anywhere near me. LOL!

So sleep is impossible. I’m praying for sweet sleep because currently it is BAD. Tossing and turning constantly. The title of this blog is “One of these things is not like the other”…that is me. 100%. Always has been and always will be. Let me explain…

The last two nights I decided to take some meds that in a “normal person’s” world would help you to sleep better. Not this girl. I am hands down a 1/2 glass-full gal so when Nyquil didn’t work the first night, I had high hopes Tylenol PM would have a different result. Nope. It was like the trumpets sounded and I was forced to join the band…not for an hour or two…all night long.

So morning has broken and here I am…getting a bit more used to the quiet.

There are many examples I could list as to how this girl doesn’t ever seem to follow the patterns of the people or world around her. That can work well in some situations but more often doesn’t work well. As the saying goes, “a round peg doesn’t fit into a square hole”. In my case I don’t even know if I would identify as round or square. My shape is odd…non conforming. The older I get the more I realize that isn’t a “popular” place to be. People naturally like when you conform to a side. Generally there are two sides and you are supposed to take one side or the other. Right?

One role I added to my life two years ago, I haven’t referenced or talked about. That is the role of School Board Director. I could write a book about how my life has radically changed in this volunteer position. Five months after accepting this new role we went into “Covidville”. Being a school board member was never on my list of things I wanted to do but it was for sure something God was/is calling me to. Yes, I can say that I am called by God to serve the community and kids in this way. It took me a while to believe this. I frequently found myself comparing me to my fellow board members. I felt so out of place. Let me first say, they are all incredible humans. Still, every time I compared, I would think of the Sesame Street song, “one of these things is not like the other”… I’ve come to realize that it is okay. For such a time is this…as I’ve been told many times💗

School board directors across the country have been inadvertently put in a place to make decisions and enforce things that should not be our decision to make. The world is divided and much of the controversy has revolved around our kids. Parents from all perspectives are coming to stand up on behalf of his/her child. I admire them all. Most, come in the name of love.

We have seen a plethora of good people resign their positions over threats and false accusations. Covid and politics have taken a negative toll on our communities and the kids. Trust has been damaged. Skepticism is at an all time high. Working together with people of a different mindset seems to be a thing of the past. It’s so sad.

So here I am. Fasting. In the quiet. Where You know I need to be. My soul longs to hear from You, God. I don’t want to be swallowed up by this turmoil. I need You. The community and the kids are where my heart and soul are. You chose me for this time and I need You to get me through it. I’m fasting in anticipation of hearing where to go next. I need You to go before me, Lord. Hear my cry! You’ve created me to be different and I need you to show me the way.

Help me Lord, to build bridges. Help me to scatter seeds of Your unconditional love all over so that even in the most severe drought the harvest is sweet and plentiful. You can do this! I know You can.

I’m ready.

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