Everyday, I make the bed. Every pillow needs to be just right. Always. No exceptions.
I walked away. I forced myself to face it. I also promised myself I wouldn’t change it, knowing it would look “like that” all day long. Worse thing, I would face the mess before I was ready to turn in for the night.
There have been so many monumental shifts in most every season in my life. Few things have been on repeat the past few years.
I would like to think I navigated the changes well without much noticeable settling or emotion. On occasion, there may have been a few tears and/or some natural exhaustion along the way but…just keep chugging…like the little engine, so could I.
Two weeks ago, I was hospitalized for something that should have been an in and out operation. Instead, I had severe complications that I like to say, “took me on a tour of the hospital”…
I’m “on the other side” now and I’m learning some tough lessons. The greatest one…
I like control.
My friends and family have shown more love and support than I could have ever imagined. I only hope they fully comprehend how much they helped me to get through this challenging time.
I work with the BEST team. The end of 2023, I made a huge career change, as I wrote about in prior blogs. They have insisted I take care of myself while letting me make my own mistakes. A perfect storm. I worked from the sofa a full day the Monday after I came home from my surgeries. The next day I had a severe migraine and other complications. I wanted to show everyone I could do it and I would…until I couldn’t.
I tried to take control for three days until I realized after talking to a girlfriend, I don’t do taking care of me well at all. Everyone is worried, texting, praying because I refuse to let go and give my body time to heal.
It comes down to this…In my mind, if I’m not making a positive difference in someone else’s world, I’m not useful. Meanwhile, my body is suffering because I refuse to listen to the people around me begging me to take the time my body desperately needs to rebuild.
I’m a work in progress. I’m learning and hoping I’m better today than yesterday. God is showing me I have a lot more work to do…I’m convinced He wants me to take this season seriously and remember it forward. I will.
For now, it’s the little things like “placement of the pillows”… It. Doesn’t. Matter!
I can SO relate to this!!
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